Interviewing the Staff

This Week, Wibble's star striker, Willie Colgate.

(WC, Willie Colgate. HP, Harry Parry)

HP: Have you ever run for the bus?
WC: Yes.
HP: Did you catch it?
WC: Yes.
HP: Was it moving?
WC: Yes, but not very fast.

HP: Have you ever hit a barn door with a banjo?
WC: No, of course not.
HP: (laughing) Have you ever tried?
WC: No.
HP: If you did try, do you think you could?
WC: From how far away?
HP: A yard.
WC: Of course then.
HP: Are you sure?

HP: Do you remember your favourite goal?
WC: Yes, sure it was....
HP: Do you remember your worst miss?
WC: Well, I try not to....
HP: I'll narrow it down for you. Worst miss this season?
WC: ahh,
HP: Last match?

HP: If you had a £million to spend on a strike partner, who would you buy?
WC: Steve MaClean from Sheffield Wednesday. He's lightning slow and occasionally lethal in front of goal.
HP: Who?

HP: What do you think of the AFC Wibble groundshare rumours?
WC: I think it makes good business sense but we would have to share our ground because theirs is rubbish.

HP: Do you get on with the chairman?
WC: Absolutely, he's a wonderful man. He's full of...
HP: shite?
WC: ideas and enthusiasm. He tries really hard to...
HP: Bankrupt the club?
WC: keep everybody motivated. He's very...
HP: Annoying?
WC: strong minded and he has a very firm idea of...
HP: How to make a quick buck?
WC: how to take the club forward.

© Copyright 2004 Harry Parry All rights reserved. No part of this nonsense may be reproduced for profit without written permission from the author.